Sole Purpose 54
Taking Paid Time Off:
A Resident's Love-Hate Relationship With
Time Off

Print

Today’s article is brought to you from somewhere in the skies above Mexico.

Yes, you read that right—I’m on PTO (paid time off, gasp!). DUN DUN DUNNNNN. So, naturally, today I want to dive into the thrilling world of actually taking PTO, along with all my thoughts, feelings, and the wisdom I've gathered from loved ones, fellow residents, and my favorite mental health specialist (if you haven’t read my piece featuring advice from my best friend and mental health specialist, Ellie the extraordinaire, you’re seriously missing out—check it out Sole Purpose 2 - Advice From My Favorite Mental Heath Professional.

I am currently the luckiest first-year resident in the world. My chiefs gave me the green light to take eight whole days off during the holidays to travel to Mexico to see my boyfriend, his family, and then to San Diego and see my own family. When the idea of this trip first floated, I had a visceral reaction: fear. What if I miss out on epic surgeries? What if I let my team down? I mean, I’m an intern—it’s practically written in stone that residency is a time for suffering and grinding so I can become the best surgeon possible. Isn’t that the rule?

Listen, I’m a bit of a masochist when it comes to covering add-ons and squeezing every last drop of learning out of each day. I also carry a keen awareness that I am, shockingly, not yet a perfect surgeon with the hands of a surgical goddess (six months in, and still not perfect?!).

Cue my boyfriend, who gently reminded me to be “a normal person”. He pointed out that I have 2.5 years left to learn all the things, plus a lifetime to master my craft. Also, I would work Thanksgiving on call, I was planning this trip well in advance, and my chiefs had already said they’d understand if I wanted time off for Christmas. On top of that, I hadn’t seen my family in months—or my boyfriend’s family (who I adore) for even longer.
 

Oh, and let’s not forget the practical side: my program gives us 15 days of PTO, and I hadn’t used much of it yet. No conferences or trips were on my radar for the rest of my intern year. But despite all that logic, there was still that little voice in my head whispering, “Reliable people are always available and smiling, no matter what.” That voice? It’s the echo of my incredible, badass medical mom, who taught me to work hard and show up for others. I am pretty sure she has 1,000 days of PTO saved up, if that is even possible.

Despite all the logical justifications, I felt an overwhelming wave of guilt after booking this trip. Guilt for not being available to work. Guilt for not spending ALL my time off with my family. Guilt for not dedicating enough time to my boyfriend’s family (and, most importantly, my adorable, perfect, brand-new baby niece, whom I am beyond thrilled to meet). Oh, and let’s not forget the guilt for not “maximizing” my intern year by being the always-available, workaholic resident. Truly, it was a full-on guilt fest.

Enter Ellie: my brilliant best friend and therapist extraordinaire (huge congrats to her for passing her counseling licensure exam!).

First, she reminded me of an undeniable fact: I HATE the cold. And winter in Indiana? It’s not just chilly—it’s bone-chilling. I’ve been running outside in three layers and double socks like a human marshmallow all week. Sure, I survived undergrad in Colorado, but let’s be honest—Midwest winters hit differently (I promise, Dr DeHeer, I still love the program and Indiana; it’s just... really cold). The trip to Mexico and San Diego wasn’t just a vacation—it was my chance to escape the frozen tundra, soak up some much-needed Vitamin D, and give both my mind and body the break they were begging for.

Then, Ellie pointed out another crucial detail: I’m in a 5-year-deep currently long-distance relationship, and spending time with my lovely boyfriend fills my heart to the brim. With his work currently keeping him away for approximately 300 days a year and my busy intern schedule, quality time isn’t exactly abundant. This trip gives us a whole seven days together—snorkeling in cenotes, going on beach runs, spending time with loved ones, and basking in the sun. Plus, he’s gearing up for a six-month deployment in the spring, so this was precious time together before his next big adventure.

And let’s not forget, I absolutely adore his family and my own. Seeing them will make my heart grow four sizes (Grinch-style), reminding me that I’m loved and valued outside of work. There’s so much more to life than taking call and ordering post-op shoes, after all.

Additionally, this trip includes all my favorite things. Eating delicious Mexican food? Check. Going to the beach? Double-check. Speaking Spanish? Triple-check. I’d be living my best life, doing everything I love, with the people I love.

Finally, Ellie lovingly dropped this truth bomb: I have approved PTO. That’s right—I was given permission to take this time off, and my chiefs were totally okay with it. I wasn’t breaking any rules or sneaking out of the hospital in the dead of night. She also reminded me that I do make the most out of my days when I’m working. I hustle, I learn, I show up. So why not allow me to fully enjoy this break? In short, my emotional Jedi of a friend gave me the clarity I needed to embrace this trip, guilt-free.

When I told one of my chiefs that I booked my trip with a changeable return date (just in case they needed me for coverage), his response was both hilarious and humbling. He (lovingly, I think) told me to “stop being dumb” and made it clear that I am not cutting my dream vacation short to come back for an add-on toe amputation. “You have the PTO,” he said. “Take it. Enjoy it.” Message received (eventually).

But my logical, surgically wired brain needed more than kind words. I needed FACTS.

Luckily, both Forbes and the Harvard Business Review have my back. Recent articles from both sources emphasize the importance of taking PTO. The data? Employees who take their PTO experience increased productivity, greater happiness, and lower stress levels when they return to work, compared to those who skip their time off.^1,2 And it’s not just about productivity—there are health benefits too! Taking vacations has been shown to have similar effects on the brain as daily meditation.¹ It’s like hitting the reset button for your mind and body.

Still, I’m not alone in feeling nervous about actually taking time off. Americans, in general, aren’t great at using their PTO.^1,2 Despite all the proven benefits, many people forgo their vacation days, which leads to increased burnout and, ironically, decreased productivity.² If we want to build a sustainable and healthy work environment, we have to normalize taking time off.

So, if my chief, Forbes, and HBR are all telling me to enjoy my vacation, who am I to argue?

A Few Disclaimers

Let me be crystal clear: I didn’t just wake up one morning, decide to jet off to Mexico, and drop this on my chiefs last minute. I made sure they knew about my plans months in advance and got their approval before booking a single flight. If they’d said no, I wouldn’t have argued—I’d simply found another time to see my family, my boyfriend, and his family. I think it’s crucial not to feel entitled to time off. Just because I worked Thanksgiving doesn’t mean I was owed anything. I’m incredibly lucky and grateful that my request was approved.

Also, I didn’t ask for anything at the last minute. That’s just begging for it to be denied. Pro Tip: If you want PTO, plan ahead. Speaking of planning, I didn’t go overboard with my PTO days either. I stayed within my allotted time because, as much as rest and mental health matter, rules are rules.

Now, let’s address the big elephant in the room: Did I completely disconnect from work and live my best off-the-grid vacation life? Not quite. I checked my email almost every night to stay on top of administrative duties and ensure I wasn’t missing anything important. I also kept up with my article work for PRESENT. Oh, and because I can’t help myself, I even read research articles on the plane during my flights. I also didn’t splurge on a vacation that would leave my wallet in shambles. I stick to a pretty tight budget, so months ago, I started setting money aside like a responsible adult (or at least trying to be one). This way, I could afford my flights, my share of the trip, and holiday gifts—all without having to survive on ramen noodles and free hospital sandwiches for the foreseeable future.

So yes, I took a vacation—but I didn’t completely hit pause on my professional responsibilities (because let’s be real, I’m not that reckless). And there you have it: the highs, the lows, and the guilt-laden rollercoaster of taking PTO as a first-year resident.

The facts speak for themselves: PTO isn’t just a luxury; it’s a must-use. Yes, residency is about learning, grinding, and sharpening your surgical skills. But it’s also about finding balance and remembering that we’re not just surgeons—we’re human beings, too. Humans who need to step away, recharge, and reconnect with the people and passions that make life worth living. My patients deserve someone who’s not so burnt out they’ve forgotten how to be a person. I’m a better doctor when I’m recharged.

So, here’s the takeaway: PTO isn’t just “time off.” It’s an investment in yourself, your relationships, and your ability to show up as your best self—whether that’s in the OR, on call, or simply enjoying some much-needed Mexican food and sunshine.

To all my fellow residents, healthcare professionals, and hardworking humans out there: don’t just take PTO—embrace it. Plan it. Enjoy it. Trust me, your future self will send you a thank-you note.